JOE SCRIPT

                                                                          JOE  SCRIPT

SCENE 1: EXT, DAY, JOE IS SITTING ON BENCH IN PARK.

JOE (a socially awkward child) is sitting on a bench in the park. He looks zoned out. He looks to the camera.

JOE: What? (pause, looks off screen) Wait, we’re filming now? (looks at camera) Um, I don’t really have anything to say right now, so uh (pause, points off screen), look! Over there!

Camera turns around to look at nothing. Camera turns back to Joe only to find he ran off.

Cut to Joe in bed. He is getting out of bed, puts his clothes on and gets everything together for school. While that’s happening we can hear a narration by Joe himself.

JOE (narrator): Let me start over. My name is Joe. I am 17 and I go to sixth form in my local town. I have autism, which means I talk to myself a lot, hence this narration. I am also terrible at getting out of bed.

(Cut to Joe walking to school. Narration continues.)

I am also very socially awkward. I’m (pause, followed by violent coughing while the Joe on the screen looks at the camera somewhat annoyed).

(We start the shot again).

JOE (narrator): I am also very socially awkward. I’m the most uncool kid in my school.

(Joe looks at the camera again).

JOE: Wait, why am I the uncool kid again?

JOE (narrator): Um, we pooed our pants in year 4?

JOE: Wait, how are we doing this right now?

JOE (narrator): Oh god he knows! (Sentence is cut off before its finished).

Cut to the school. He is walking in the sixth form centre.

JOE (narrator): I have very few friends. I’ll show you.

Cut to his friend SIMON (an internet obsessed nerd), who is sitting on a chair playing on his lap top.

JOE (narrator): This is Simon. If there is anyone less cool than me, he probably doesn’t exist, but he comes close! He pretends he’s some meme god when really he’s that smart kid that can really be doing other things than making dated internet jokes.

Simon looks at the camera awkwardly.

SIMON: Uh, yeah boyyyyy?

JOE (narrator): Shut up!

Simon shuts up and goes back to his computer obediently.

Cut to ERIN (an emo punk girl wearing heavy makeup) is on her phone. Not looking at the camera.

JOE (narrator): Avril Levine over here is also my friend. Her real name is Erin. I don’t think her and Simon get on. Despite her hating everyone and everything, we are very good friends. (Erin looks up at the camera, rolls her eyes and goes back to her phone). Probably because we went to playgroup together.

Cut to the two sitting on the floor in a playgroup. They are still the same age. Erin is on the phone and Joe looks confused.

JOE: Wait, did this even happen?

Cut before the sentence finishes. Joe is walking up the stairs, staring angrily at EUGENE (Joe’s nemesis despite them being the same person), he is walking in his direction. They meet.

JOE (narrator): Not everyone is nice though. There is no one I hate more than Eugene!

JOE: Nice to see you again spaz!

EUGENE: The pleasures all mine, ass burgers!

JOE: How’s your Runescape account coming along? Not good enough for Warcraft?

EUGENE: Still playing with your sonic toys?

JOE: Your mum’s so fat when she fell down the stairs I thought eastenders was on!

EUGENE: Your mum’s so stupid she gave birth to you!

They walk off in separate directions to where they were originally going to, only to go back on their original routes a few seconds later, hitting eachother’s shoulders.

Cut to Eugene going to his group of friends. He too has an emo friend (GRETCHEN) and a meme obsessed friend (JOSH).

JOE (narrator): I hate him! We are complete polar opposites!

EUGENE: Hey guys.

GRETCHEN: Eh.

JOSH: WHAT ARE THOSE!!! (Cut before his sentence is finished).

Cut to Joe going into a room and seeing his crush EVANGELINE.

JOE (narrator): I totally forget about Eugene whenever I see Evangeline. She’s so….wow!

Joe and Evangeline lock eyes. But after a long awkward pause she goes back to school work. Joe leaves still shell shocked by her beauty.

JOE (narrator): Yeah she totally digs me.

Cut to Joe alone in a field waiting for his friends to show up.

JOE (narrator): Oh, well I may have no social life, no dignity or no Evangeline. But at least I have my friends. (Pause). I said at least I have my friends! (Cut before he can finish his sentence).

Erin and Simon appear out of thin air. Both not interested and doing other things.

JOE (narrator): There we go! My squad. I wouldn’t be anything without them.

Long pause as they eventually leave Joe alone (going off in separate directions). Joe looks to the camera, shrugs as the title appears. “JOE: or the greatest loser in all of longsands academy”. The shot lingers as Joe looks confused.

JOE: That’s the opening right? (Pause). Hello? Hellooooo? (runs off screen). Hey guys wait up!

                                                                                  END